Missing Lily
by loonyloonylupin
Summary: Based on the theory that Lupin is really James. James is missing the wife that he lost 15 years ago and when he falls asleep he finally get the piece of mind he needs.


This story is based on the theory that Remus is in truth James. This is a short story while James is staying at 12 Grimmauld Place and thinking about his lost love, Lily. Maybe some sleep will help...and a dream of a certain red head. Follows canon but it has a slight sci-fi taste to it. Oh well. R&R  
  
The transformation had been terrible. Snape had not been available to make the wolfs bane for James to drink and so he had to use the chains. Goosebumps rose on his skin just thinking about it. How had Remus survived all those years? James had a sudden burst of respect for the friend who had taken his fate for him. All those years of enduring that pain, humiliation and horror James had no clue how he did it. Since James had taken the form of Remus, and all of his symptoms of being a werewolf all those years ago, James truly began to comprehend how Remus did not look forward to the full moon like the rest of the marauders. To them it was just fun but for Remus, and now James, it was hell. Moving from the cages kept for him in the basement he moved upstairs to the kitchen where Sirius and Molly awaited him. Opening the door to the light he winced and even gave off a soft moan before moving to sit at the table for a moment. Sirius put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile which James hesitantly returned. "Would you like breakfast Remus?" Said Molly kindly "No thanks, maybe later. All I want right now is to go to sleep." "I will help you upstairs Moony" James nodded and rose and taking Sirius help made his way slowly up towards one of the many room in the mansion. Since there was no animals to keep him company, James had refused Sirius' company, the werewolf had turned his teeth onto himself. From this Remus' body had tons of bite and scratch marks on his legs and arms. Once out of the hearing range of Molly, Sirius began asking questions. "Are you ok?" "As fine as can be expected considering I spent my night as a werewolf." "How bad is it?" "Don't ask. I just want to sleep and think about anything but this." Sirius took that and was silent bringing James to the bed and as James sat down he moaned. "I will see you later Sirius." "Alright Prongs." For the first time in a while James smiled and nodded. "How I miss that name." "And Lily?" At that James looked up with a painful expression, frowning. Sirius nodded and walked out closing the door leaving him alone once again. James began taking off some of the horrible remains of the cloak he had worn last night and slipped into the queen sized bed. Lying on his side and looking to the empty half of the bed he sighed and turned away to lay on his back. Now turning to his head to the side to once again look at the emptiness he could see Lily laying beside him in their home in Godric's hollow. He could see her perfectly, sleeping with her hands under her beautiful head of gorgeous red hair. He even remembered the morning she had opened her almond shaped emerald eyes and looked up at him in amusement as he watched her. "What are you looking at James Potter?" She had asked smiling. "I am only looking at my beautiful wife of course!" She had laughed and leaned over to kiss him gently and then....He could still feel her gentle touch as he thought about her. It was at this sudden moment that James, once again in Remus' body, looked away and felt sick. Looking to the ceiling he closed his eyes and slowly, very slowly, eased into sleep.  
  
When James once again opened his eyes he was surprised to find that he suddenly had no pain. He was also not in 12 Grimmauld place either. Raising his hands to his eyes to rub them he found himself hitting glasses. Blinking he took them off and tilted his head...they were his...looking up he found the world was blurry and when he put them back on the world around came into focus. Raising his hands to his hair, it was his! The short messed up hair instead of the long slightly curly hair of Remus Lupin. Was he dreaming? "....James...." That voice. Turning suddenly he saw the best sight of his life. She was exactly as he remembered her. His jaw dropped as she smiled that dazzling bright smile of hers and suddenly ran and threw her self in his arms. Wrapping his, his, arms around her she laughed as he spun her around before placing her down and pulling away. "Lily, oh Lily is it really you?" For an answer she kissed him as she use to. He gladly returned the passionate kiss; feeling tears of happiness slowly slide down his face under his glasses. After a few moments she pulled away and brought a hand up to wipe them away. "I miss you and Harry." "You don't know how much I miss you...I can't stand being away anymore. It was stupid of me to leave; I left the one place I should have been." Lily kissed him gently on the jaw and shook her head. "No James, you are where you have to be. Harry needs you." "But I need you." He ran his fingers through her soft red hair, enjoying the feel of the tresses through his fingers. "I can't stand being on my own anymore." "Shhh..." She again began to kiss him and he just enjoyed the feel of having his soul mate in his arms again. Soon kissing was stronger and more passionate. James felt that it might be the last time to hold her for god knows how long his pain of being Remus would endure. They just enjoyed being able to hold each other again. "I don't ever want to wake." For an answer Lily gave a soft smile and nodded laying her head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin over her head protectively. "I love you James." "I love you too Lily. More than you will ever know." Lily suddenly pulled away from arms length but still holding his arms and looking into his hazel eyes. "You have to go back James." "No Lily, it hasn't been long enough." She smiled softly and kissed him one last time and James tried to hold on to her as tightly as he could before she managed to pull away and get a final look at him before she began to melt away. "I love you..." "No...Lily! Lily please come back!"  
  
Remus' body shot up to a sitting position looking around furiously as Sirius was standing over him waking him gently. "Lily?..." She was gone and so was the wonderful dream. Sighing heavily and looking to the mirror he was disappointed to find that he once again looked like Remus. James then looked back to Sirius with a brow raised. "You were calling out Lily's name loudly and I doubt you wanted to have anyone hear Remus say that." James nodded and rose moving to his closet to grab a robe and shoved it over his head. Turning back to Sirius he nodded. "Let's go there is an order meeting isn't there?" 


End file.
